Turtles
by RavenFrost the Amazing
Summary: Ravenpaw's insane obsession with turtles begins... Rlease reveiw. No flames!
1. The Beggining

There once were a bunch of nekos living in a forest. They are the warriors of the forest. Now what happens to them is strange indeed...

Ravenpaw stood at the edge of the clearing with his friend Firepaw. They both were talking about Tigerclaw's cruelty when a twoleg dropped into the clearing. The twoleg then spoke: "Hi. I'm Lily, the narrator." Then she lifted a turtle out of her hands, twirled in circles singing "We need a Little Christmas", spoke something about a twoleg named Mrs. Kay, and dropped the turtle. Right onto Ravenpaw's head.

Ravenpaw freaked out. He screamed. he shivered. He yelled "My Little Pony!" He shivered. then he danced. Then he said "There is a monster on my head. Firepaw, save me! This is worse than Tigerstar! i will get my revenge..."


	2. Firestar

A lot of moons later, when Firestar became leader of Thunderclan, Ravenpaw rejoined the clan. A couple of days later, when Firestar, Ravenpaw, and Brambleclaw were patrolling the border, they found the twoleg named Lily sitting on a rock. She held a cellphone in her hand, and a bag in her other hand. When she saw then approach, she smiled.

"Oh, hello. You people again? Well, here you go, then. My teacher told me to give it to you." And she handed Ravenpaw the bag. He opened it to look inside. Then he dropped it, clapped three times, and picked it up again.

Then he put his hand inside the bag, and lifted out...a turtle? Yes, a turtle. Then Ravenpaw laughed insanely, and held it up to the sunlight, and then he dropped it onto Firestar's head. Brambleclaw then raced up and karate-chopped Ravenpaw's head with a "Die traitor, die! Haven't you heard that Tigerstar, the greatest leader that ever lived, has passed a new rule to add to the warrior code? From his home in dark forest, my father has made a new rule: no turtles on clan territory. I wanna be just like Tigerstar!"

Then Firestar stopped telling the turtle that he, Firestar, was the greatest leader that ever lived. He marched up to Brambleclaw, and yelled "What do you mean by that? Are you going to try to take over the forest, like Tigerstar?" And Brambleclaw nodded proudly. Then as Firestar yelled "With my powers of my amazingness and greatness and good looks, I exile you!" Brambleclaw ran off.


	3. Brambleclaw

Little did Firestar know, Brambleclaw was hiding in the bushes right in front of Firestar. Then, as Firestar was telling the turtle on his head about how he had killed Scourge, Brambleclaw leaped out of the bushes, and killed Firestar...with a banana.

"Ha, ha, ha. Killed ya, Firestar. Not so high and mighty now, huh? Look at me, daddy, I'm clan leader now. Our plan worked!" Brambleclaw said, laughing insanely. Tigerstar came down from dark forest to congradjulate him, and they did the chicken dance together. Hawkfrost ran in from Riverclan, and they all went to go get ice cream.

On the way, they all stopped by in Riverclan, and scared Mistyfoot into becoming a kittypet by pretending to be the taco monster. She then became the most famous kittypet model, and Bluestar came down from Starclan to yell at her daughter. "Mistyfoot! Is this what I taught you to do? Nope, I taught you how to be a nail artist, not a model. Get to the Starclan salon now, and do Mousefur's nails. Now!" And Leopardstar made Hawkfrost deputy.

Then at the ice cream truck, Ravenpaw gave them chocolate ice cream, and popped a turtle on Brambleclaw's head. But Brambleclaw didn't notice, and neither Tigerstar nor Hawkfrost told him. Brambleclaw then went to the Moonpool, got his nine lives, and became Bramblestar. Then when he got home, and switched on the T.V., he noticed the turtle.

Brambleclaw yelled "Get off of my head, or I'll kill you! Get off in the name of Tigerstar!" But the turtle did not budge. So then he tried to take it off with a baseball bat, but succeeded in only knocking himself out.


	4. Mapleshade

Bramblestar woke up in a purple room that was filled with pizzas, pink fluffy bunny rabits, and a fuming Squirrelflight with her pet badger on her shoulder. Definitely not his house. No way.

"How dare you traitor me like this! You said that you would buy me a new makeup set, and now you come home with a turtle on your head! And you killed Firestar before he got me a chrystal car made of diamonds...How dare you!"

Then Bramblestar frowned. "So this is my house?! Oh yeah-we moved here a day ago. I wonder if Berrynose wants to buy our old house? I should check..."

"Honestly, I don't know how you can be like this. we sold our old house to Scourge, remember? And we have couples councelling with Mapleshade today, remember? Get ready now!" Squirrelflight screamed.

One hour later...

A old woman with creepy eyeglasses sat on the counter. "As you should know, I am Mapleshade. The one and only. Graduate of the University of Murder Skills. Now what are your problems?" she said in a monotone voice.

"Bramblestar is obsessed with being the ruler of the world. He's just like Tigerstar. He also killed my daddy. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Squirrelflight cried.

Just then, the turtle on Bramblestar's head crawled off. Bramblestar clapped. The turtle climbed onto Mapleshade's head. Mapleshade started batting at it with unsheathed claws.

"Die turtle, die! You stole everything that should have been mine. My love, my kits...Die RiverClan scumbag!" Mapleshade yelled in a furious rage. Meanwhile, Bramblestar and Squirrelflight made up and left, aggreeing that Mapleshade was insane.


	5. Bluestar and Tribe of Endless Hunting

Meanwhile in Starclan...

"Ravenpaw. Why did you do this to me! You traitor. I was right all along. Thunderclan is a clan of traitors." said Bluestar, glaring at Ravenpaw while trying to handle this as calmly as possible. She had a purple turtle on her head, ruining the hairstyle Mistyfoot had done for her.

Just then they heard a battle cry. Coming from the Tribe of Endless Hunting border. Which was surprising since they couldn't even fight. But the tribe marched on, carrying band instruments. Half Moon, with her new red sunglasses Jayfeather had bought her and a matching flute, arrived first, leading the rest of them, all clad in spy costumes and turtles.

"We don't want to fight. We want to party on the Dark Forest dance floor, like usual. But we must fight, because of an evil you spawn whose name is Ravenpaw. Let us kill Ravenpaw, and we shall leave in peace." Half Moon spoke. Bluestar, without a second thought, agreed, but before they could kill Ravenpaw with their trusted potato with pink and blue stripes and tomato growing out of it, Ravenpaw fled to the Dark Forest.

And Bluestar and the Tribe of Endless Hunting had a "Who can get their turtle off of their head first?" party.


End file.
